Game Time, It's Not Just For Your Kids

By Clifford Richmond, Outpatient Supervisor, and Tiiu Lutter, Director of Development and Family Therapist

While we are spending more time together, it’s still very easy to disconnect. When you’re juggling school, work, kids with different needs, other family members, your partnership, pets, cooking, and everything else, it can feel almost impossible to do much other than survive. By the end of the day, you might find yourselves in separate corners of the house scrolling on your phones, watching TV, or not connecting in ways you used to.

Just because we are technically spending more time together in our homes doesn’t mean that we are actually spending quality time together. In many households, we’re spending less! So today, we’re sharing some different games that we use with our families and clients that are fun, foster spontaneous conversations, and help us remain connected even when things are hard.

• Imagine If Game – This is a board game you might be familiar with, but you don’t need it to play! In fact, it can be more fun if you go rogue. The concept is pretty simple. Sit together in the living room or at a table, or if the weather is nice, take a walk together and ask questions about each member of your family like, “Imagine if Dad was a car, which one would he be?”  Then, each person says their thoughts and shares why! Maybe you say, “Dad would be a corvette because he’s speedy and stylish.” Or, “Dad would be a station wagon. Safe, family-focused, and low key.” Then, you choose someone else! Some questions we like:
• Imagine if Mom was a fruit, which one would she be?
• Imagine if sibling was a superhero, which superhero would they be and why?
• Imagine if sibling was a book, which one would they be?
• What kind of movie would they be? Romance? Comedy? Horror? Action? Documentary?
• What animal would they be?
• What country would they be?
• What ice cream flavor would they be?
• What US state would they be?
• There are a few variations for this. You can come up with questions on the fly and just talk. Or, you could write the questions out on a piece of paper, index card, or old playing cards, and offer 4-5 options only. This is especially helpful for younger children or for teenagers in the beginning before they get into the groove. This is a great way to start conversations, laugh together, and better understand one another.
  
• Heads Up is a super fun family game for people of all ages. You can use the HeadsUp app or you can put the phones down and use pieces of paper or post-it’s. To prepare at home, write a whole bunch of words (one per card) on the papers. The game works well with nouns, but you can also have some actions, like running.  The rules are pretty simple! Each player has two minutes to guess as many cards as possible. Set a timer for two minutes and have the player hold up a card to their forehead without looking at it. Then, everyone else calls out clues so that the player can guess what’s on their forehead. (i.e. if the card says strawberry, you could say “This is a fruit, it is red and small, it has lots of seeds, and it’s your favorite food!”) The player continues to guess until they get it right, then, they pick up a new card and repeat the process until 2 minutes is up! If you want to get competitive, you can keep score of how many cards each player guesses correctly. But you can also just play for fun.
• Card games – They’re classic for a reason. A deck of cards (or two) can lead to hours of fun. We recommend War if you have a lot of people who are going to play or who are new to games. War also works great if you have a couple of incomplete decks. Just make one giant War deck! You can also play Poker with older kids. We love to play Tish (also known as other names) and Go Fish is a great starter.
• Feelings Jenga – One of our favorite games to play at home and with our families is Feelings Jenga. The traditional way (that requires a Jenga set and a willingness to write on the pieces) is to write different questions on each piece, and when a player pulls the piece out, they have to answer that question. It’s simple but a lot of fun! Questions can include:
• If you could be an animal what would you be?
• Name 3 wishes.
• If you could live anywhere, where would you live?
• What do you think is the best career for the person sitting next to you?
• Say something nice about another player.
• Ask another player any question.
• You don’t need Jenga to play this! You can write different questions on cards (old playing cards, index cards, paper) and just ask them in turn. Or, if you want to mix up your card games, write some questions on all of the aces, ones, and two’s, and when a player plays that card they have to answer.
• Family Tree – Make a family tree and tell your favorite stories. Grab a big piece of paper (or a small one) and whatever arts and craft supplies you have and build out a family tree! You can do this on a tree itself or just in a simple line graph style – whatever feels good to you! See how many generations you can go back and still remember stories or tidbits about the people. This is a great way to share beloved memories and explore different aspects of your family history.

Games are wonderful ways to break up your routine, to connect with your family, and bring some joy to your day. Any game is valuable, these are just a few of our favorites. The power of connection can’t be overstated and it’s especially important in times of stress. We hope you enjoy these resources and we’d love to hear how it goes.

About the authors: Tiiu Lutter is the Director of Development at Child Guidance and specializes in intra-family relationships, couples and adolescent concerns in her therapeutic work. With a degree from Immaculata University, Tiiu has her degree in counseling and also school guidance. She has been an IEP consultant and educational advocate and is certified in secondary guidance. She believes that every child, regardless of age, seeks to connect to their parents (and vice versa), and that with support, couples can find their way through almost every challenge, and thrive as a result. Her orientation is systemic and existential; she has a strong background in behavioral modification and reinforcement.

Clifford Richmond is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who believes in the power and strength of the family system.  With a background in Eco-Systemic Structural Family Therapy, Cliff works to assess and observe all aspects of the family system to ensure that the family home is place where children and parents can reach their full potential.  He has worked in many different therapeutic settings, including Outpatient, Community-Based, and Inpatient Hospital environments. He is currently the Outpatient Director for Child Guidance’s Southwest Philadelphia location, is trained in Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and is an AAMFT Approved Supervisor.